February 6, 2004:
I was interviewing with Google on February 6, 2004, and looking for support from my friends in my away message...
ScullardMS: don't fuck this one up, shithead!
February 4, 2004:
I told Scully that my e-mail account gets one spam every week now from some company claiming that they have charged my credit card $149.95 for a month of unlimited child porn; obviously it's an attempt for the person to be raged and click on the link to rectify the situation.
ScullardMS: you managed to order a full month of unlimited child porn for only 149.95?
ScullardMS: you are the deal maker
January 29, 2004:
MoranteH: can i put the moves on Lawrence?
MoranteH: and if i did importantly...would i get a transformer?
ScullardMS: I think you would get to see the transformers
ScullardMS: not touch them though
January 28, 2004:
ScullardMS: hey the two of us got a shout on on Joe's e-mail
ScullardMS: I guess because we were the drunkest
January 28, 2004:
MiPollo: nigga please
ScullardMS: nigga wut!
January 28, 2004:
ScullardMS: what does the program manager do?
MiPollo: manages programs
ScullardMS: no that's not right
MiPollo: they control/work with dev, test, customers
ScullardMS: that's not right
MiPollo: he delivers pizzas
January 27, 2004:
ScullardMS: one swift kick to the balls lets a man know exactly what you are thinking
January 26, 2004:
MiPollo: I may drop PC basics
ScullardMS: nah drop CS 322
ScullardMS: you'll learn more in pc basics
MiPollo: but 322 is required for graduation
ScullardMS: yo, graduation is for nerds man
ScullardMS: do you want to be a nerd?
January 20 2004:
ScullardMS: you know that by taking an ILR class, a part of your soul dies
December 10 2003:
MoranteH: those math majors baby...nothing turns me on more
ScullardMS: yeah the whole place has gotten a whole lot sexier since I signed up
October 25 2003:
Scully's profile today:
In honor of my newest nephew, I'd like to offer some baby naming tips:
ScullardMS: had my last day today
MiPollo: niiice did they give you a royal sendoff?
ScullardMS: is that where security escorts you out?
ScullardMS: because if yes, I did
MiPollo: yo check this article out on Yahoo
ScullardMS: I think I saw this, where masturbation lowers the risk of prostate cancer?
ScullardMS: good thing I masterbate every hour, on the hour while at work
ScullardMS: speaking of that it is almost 4
ScullardMS: what up dogz
MiPollo: not much dude
MiPollo: playing with solaris
ScullardMS: stop fooling around with solaris and get back to work
ScullardMS: this isn't a playground
ScullardMS: for playing
ScullardMS: we saw a great play
ScullardMS: danny glover was in it
ScullardMS: he mooned the audience, at one point
ScullardMS: not just cool, awesome
ScullardMS: that sight of that man's ass I mean
MiPollo: danny glover's ass?
ScullardMS: hells yeah
MiPollo: some dude named prasad just Im'd me
ScullardMS: what did he say
MiPollo: Hi Mike this is Prasad. IBM Software Group Consultant
ScullardMS: what the hell
MiPollo: i heard you installed Portal on linux from Vishy.... do you mind helping me here. I am running into ldap issue
ScullardMS: what does he want
MiPollo: that takes a lot of balls
ScullardMS: can you help him?
MiPollo: yup im going to try
ScullardMS: he needs the help
ScullardMS: it sounds like
ScullardMS: and not just with ldap
ScullardMS: I mean he needs a new name
MiPollo: how is endicott?
ScullardMS: it is good
ScullardMS: I'm pretty tired
MiPollo: were u drinking all night?
ScullardMS: no all morning
ScullardMS: she needs to get over it
ScullardMS: and get into the 20th century
ScullardMS: this is the 21st isn't it
ScullardMS: even better
|Scully as a CS major...||...and Scully after being liberated.|
Scully's away message after finishing his last CS415 project and, consequently, his CS minor.
I've finished what should be my last CS project and I'd like to give a big FUCK YOU to the following:
15 hour days in the lab
entire weekends lost to programming
big O notation
project descriptions that don't tell you shit
shit that doesn't compile
grades posted online
points taken off for style
problem sets that are issued the day the last one is due
writing your own test cases
code from the ta's with bugs in it
the fucking jernodas!
ordering food in the lab
infinite while loops
minimax w/ alpha beta pruning
off by 1 errors
last minute specification changes
And finally the biggest fuck you: Gun Sirer.
ScullardMS: and heather I don't think will be allowed on the slope
MiPollo: she can come on, she just cant drink
ScullardMS: I didn't say because she isn't 21
ScullardMS: I mean there is a strict no heather policy this year on hills in general
ScullardMS: and what is websphere
ScullardMS: computers, what exactly are we dealing with here
ScullardMS: thanks for answering my question, even if it was through a smartass remark on your profile
MiPollo: are you suggesting ankur is more powerful than the devil?
ScullardMS: he is the devil
MiPollo: nowhere in NYC has a job for you?
ScullardMS: no actuarial firms
ScullardMS: I'm sure I could be a janitor
MiPollo: did you guys booze a lot in the Bahamas?
ScullardMS: no that was Ankur
ScullardMS: he started drinking at 4 in the afternoon a few times, by himself
MiPollo: that's pretty hardcore.
MiPollo: did you guys do any crazy shit
ScullardMS: you realize who you are talking to right?
ScullardMS: so what can we get with lotto number 46
ScullardMS: I'm assuming you want to room next to lenny grover?
MiPollo: most definitely
ScullardMS: hey Mike, you back?
ScullardMS: it is you know, who is talking crazy
MiPollo: don't you mean "it is you now who is talking crazy" ?
ScullardMS: no I didn't mean that at all
MoranteH: hey sculls
MoranteH: how are you doing?
ScullardMS: hey heather
ScullardMS: good how about you?
ScullardMS: Oh yeah, it's Skullz now
Auto-response from ScullardMS: Lord, I would just like to let you know that I would not complain if Atari sound effects were to go off whenever I jumped, or bounced something against the wall, or ate a power pellet and started chasing ghosts around a maze. Also, I pray for peace on Earth. Amen
MiPollo: ha! france sucks
ScullardMS: yeah what a piece of shit
MoranteH: I gave mike some of your advice
MoranteH: MiPollo: my work computer is soooooooooooooo slow.... its painful to try to fix anything in my code since i have to wait like 30 seconds
MoranteH: you really should ask them for a new computer
MoranteH: like scully would say
MoranteH: go apeshit
MoranteH: MiPollo: hehe
MoranteH: and start breaking things
MoranteH: ripping people's arms off
ScullardMS: too bad he won't take it
ScullardMS: he has always had a problem removing peoples arms
Auto-response from ScullardMS: I know people are opposed to blood for oil, but what about blood for tasty little debbie snack treats?
Note to readers: Scully's CS partner, Haakon, who we call "H", is a great guy but works Scully like a slave on CS projects:
MiPollo: I hear H's dad is in town, did you meet him yet
ScullardMS: yeah he is a very nice guy
ScullardMS: he made me program for him though
ScullardMS: he can't pronounce haakon either so he calls him H
MiPollo: what are you doing today, other than jerking off?
ScullardMS: jerking off takes all day
ScullardMS: I think ankur has nice buttocks
MoranteH: i can't concentrate
MoranteH: i have no interest in doing work! help!
ScullardMS: you need discipline!
MoranteH: you mean, i lack discipline
ScullardMS: you need it!
MoranteH: Mike is trying to get you to say something funny, be careful
ScullardMS: he will be sorry he ever messed with me
Feb 11 - Feb 14:
Scully's new roommate Kevin NEVER leaves the room. Here are Mike's away messages to dialog his thoughts on the subject:
Feb 11: I am hoping to seek legal advice, so if anyone can help please tell me. I want to see if there's a way to legally force my roommate to leave the room for more than an hour each day.
Feb 12: I have received legal advice on the subject of forcing my roommate out for an hour each day, and....[lost]
Feb 14: My roommate has rejected my new laws and has declared martial law. Damn, martial law sure involves playing a lot of video games and not leaving the room.
Feb 10: 8:17 PM
ScullardMS: hold on
ImpaleherVlad666: masturbatin i take it
Feb 10: 9:01 AM
MiPollo: Hey Mike I need to find a way to get from Binhamton airport to Ithaca. Do you know what vehicles can take me there?
ScullardMS: hey I'm not sure what kind of vehicles we are talking about
ScullardMS: I am a fan of the riding lawnmower myself
Jan 29: 10:01 PM
ScullardMS: people have been circulating a page about the olsen twins going to CMU
ScullardMS: it said they would be doing computer science
ScullardMS: why would anyone with a million dollars subject themselves to this shit
MiPollo: ? what do u mean
ScullardMS: the cs major
ScullardMS: you do it because you hope to make a million dollars
ScullardMS: not the other way around
MiPollo: heheh perhaps
ScullardMS: the rich people are in art history
Jan 29: 9:52 PM
ScullardMS: why don't you have a page for heather?
MiPollo: cuz she doesnt say funny shit on IM
ScullardMS: just a page of shit she says in real life
Jan 28: 10:07 PM
MiPollo: you seen the web page I made for you? people like your quotes
ScullardMS: I have seen it and I am not pleased
Jan 23: 9:10 PM
ScullardMS: I'm going to stop talking to you until you stop quoting me
MiPollo: another one!
ScullardMS: MOTHER FUCKER
Jan 23: 5:01 PM
MiPollo: remember that day in 312, the first day, when Myers showed SML is type-safe when "1 < 2.0" returned an error, and you said "Dammit!"
ScullardMS: I believe the quote was "what a dumbass"
ScullardMS: i've cataloged everything I said since 1994
Jan 23: 3:12 PM
ScullardMS: so how was your snow day?
ScullardMS: how many snow angles did you make?
MiPollo: you mean angels?
ScullardMS: um, snow angles.
ScullardMS: like isoceles.
MiPollo: I hear your new roommate wants to meet me
ScullardMS: yeah and kick your ass